Why should our golden years be dry and dreary? This is the question many baby boomers are asking. They're unwilling to give up their weekly badminton game, ballroom classes or sex lives just because of a number.
Baby boomer is used to describe a person who was born during the demographic Post-World War II baby boom (1946-1964). This generation has found that their parents are living longer, their children are seeking a better education, and they themselves are having children later in life.
But even more surprisingly, this same group is breaking the stereotype that a healthy sex life is only for the young. A recent United States survey of married men and women showed that 87% of married men and 89% of married women in the 60-64 age range are sexually active.
Those numbers drop in advancing years, but 29% of men and 25% of women over the age of 80 are still sexually active. Some may argue that that's hardly the case in Malaysia. But associate professor Nathan Vytialingam of the Malaysian Healthy Ageing Society says many of our very own baby boomers are craving intimacy in their later years.
"First things, first. Let's get it clear that intimacy is not only about sexual intercourse," says Vytialingam. "Intimacy can happen through different ways. It could be as simple as reading a book together or going on frequent holidays. Keeping that communication level open at least once a week is something many people want but are afraid to ask for. But it's an expression of love for the couple and not a matter of lust."
He says many couples in the late 50's experience the empty nest syndrome. "After years of taking care of the children and running around doing chores, many elderly people don't know how to communicate with their spouse anymore. They've been focusing of taking care of other things, often times neglecting the marriage. The breakdown in communication built up over the years can be hard to undo. But all it takes are simple things, like walking hand in hand on the street."
And for all the younger people who are going, "Eewww!" at that very thought. Shame on you.
Nathan says when it comes to young people feeling disgusted at the thought of the elderly being affectionate; it's all a matter of ego.
"What the first thing that comes to a young person's mind when you think about an elder couple being intimate? They think it's disgusting. They don't want to think about it, much less talk about it. But baby boomers are more open about the matter, because they understand that it's a matter of companionship. And they're willing to do a lot to get back that level of intimacy."
And yet, there's the reality of ageing. Health issues are cited as the main reason most baby boomers don't embark on igniting that spark in their marriage. A survey of nearly 1,400 adults aged 45 and older, showed that 64% of men and 68% of women who have sexual partners are extremely satisfied with their lives.
But it also showed that 22% of men and 7% of women reported that they had to now or in the past take medicine, hormone or other treatment to enhance sexual performance. Unfortunately aging, Nathan says, comes with many health issues that could affect intimacy.
"For women it's menopause, for men it's a drop in testosterone levels. There's no denying that sexual problems can arise, like erectile dysfunction. Other people may have ailments like arthritis and asthma. But if these problems are identified, they can be corrected.
"Baby boomers need to realise that it's normal to have these problems as you age. But there's medication out there. Consult a doctor or a psychologist, get help if you need it. The worst thing you can do is to suffer in silence because you're too embarrassed."
Nathan says being intimate may also lengthen your life span and improve your quality of life.
Source: Clinical psychologist, Urmilah Dass
Baby boomer is used to describe a person who was born during the demographic Post-World War II baby boom (1946-1964). This generation has found that their parents are living longer, their children are seeking a better education, and they themselves are having children later in life.
But even more surprisingly, this same group is breaking the stereotype that a healthy sex life is only for the young. A recent United States survey of married men and women showed that 87% of married men and 89% of married women in the 60-64 age range are sexually active.
Those numbers drop in advancing years, but 29% of men and 25% of women over the age of 80 are still sexually active. Some may argue that that's hardly the case in Malaysia. But associate professor Nathan Vytialingam of the Malaysian Healthy Ageing Society says many of our very own baby boomers are craving intimacy in their later years.
"First things, first. Let's get it clear that intimacy is not only about sexual intercourse," says Vytialingam. "Intimacy can happen through different ways. It could be as simple as reading a book together or going on frequent holidays. Keeping that communication level open at least once a week is something many people want but are afraid to ask for. But it's an expression of love for the couple and not a matter of lust."
He says many couples in the late 50's experience the empty nest syndrome. "After years of taking care of the children and running around doing chores, many elderly people don't know how to communicate with their spouse anymore. They've been focusing of taking care of other things, often times neglecting the marriage. The breakdown in communication built up over the years can be hard to undo. But all it takes are simple things, like walking hand in hand on the street."
And for all the younger people who are going, "Eewww!" at that very thought. Shame on you.
Nathan says when it comes to young people feeling disgusted at the thought of the elderly being affectionate; it's all a matter of ego.
"What the first thing that comes to a young person's mind when you think about an elder couple being intimate? They think it's disgusting. They don't want to think about it, much less talk about it. But baby boomers are more open about the matter, because they understand that it's a matter of companionship. And they're willing to do a lot to get back that level of intimacy."
And yet, there's the reality of ageing. Health issues are cited as the main reason most baby boomers don't embark on igniting that spark in their marriage. A survey of nearly 1,400 adults aged 45 and older, showed that 64% of men and 68% of women who have sexual partners are extremely satisfied with their lives.
But it also showed that 22% of men and 7% of women reported that they had to now or in the past take medicine, hormone or other treatment to enhance sexual performance. Unfortunately aging, Nathan says, comes with many health issues that could affect intimacy.
"For women it's menopause, for men it's a drop in testosterone levels. There's no denying that sexual problems can arise, like erectile dysfunction. Other people may have ailments like arthritis and asthma. But if these problems are identified, they can be corrected.
"Baby boomers need to realise that it's normal to have these problems as you age. But there's medication out there. Consult a doctor or a psychologist, get help if you need it. The worst thing you can do is to suffer in silence because you're too embarrassed."
Nathan says being intimate may also lengthen your life span and improve your quality of life.
Source: Clinical psychologist, Urmilah Dass
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